Wet, Dismal Days Accompany the Sombre Soul.

Last night and today have been a struggle. A struggle to focus, and not fall down. Not give up. Not crawl back into my bed and never get back out. It's just been a really really hard and emotional 24 hours. This morning I got up at 6:00, after a night filled with tears, horrible dreams, tossing and turning, and finally laying awake staring at the ceiling searching for answers. I got up, went to take a shower, and ended up sitting down for 20 minutes soaking in the hot water, mulling over my endless thoughts. I finally got out, got ready, made myself a hot chai tea and left for school. Dreary, wet, rainy and foggy weather met me outside my door. Driving into school in that weather, in the dark of the morning, listening to Ray LaMontagne's voice radiate through the car, tears were running down my face. I'm glad for it though. Sometimes when you're sad, you just have to accept that you're sad, wallow in it, and then you can move on. It might take a while, but it's possible to be happy again.

I still don't know what will happen, or how I will deal with the obstacles of growing up and distance and hardships, but I  do know that I still love someone tremendously. That's all I know right now, and I hope it's enough. The only thing I can do is love blindly, and hope everything works out.