Rainy Days.

"But there's one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head"

Today was a rainy day. Drizzly and wet. I loved it. I love the rain, I love the fresh smells, I love the worms that crawl out from the earth, I love the moisture, and the way your windshield wipers wipe it away in their monotonous way. I love the way the street lights reflect off the wet pavement, and the sound of the rain hitting the windows. It's refreshing. I don't mind getting a little wet when I get to experience all of that. 

After work, I called up my best friends Alyssa and Ginnelle and forced them to come enjoy the rain outside and take pictures, so we went outside (They live outside of town) and started snapping pictures. It was fun, if not wet and cold. I'm pretty happy with how some of them turned out. Especially the one of Alyssa with her vintage camera and umbrella above. It's my favourite.

It was a wonderful drizzly, rainy day

         

Rainy Day Music:

I Love The Rain Most- Joe Purdy

Raindrop's Keep Falling on my Head- B.J. Thomas

Why Does it Always Rain on Me- Travis

Crazy.

Right now, I feel frustrated. Frustrated and irritated and sad and happy and confused and well, just plain crazy. This is how this person makes me feel. Crazy. Makes me stay up all night thinking, and unfocused during the day. This person makes me want to punch them and hug them at the same time. This person makes me obsessed and, and well crazy. I don't think of myself as a usually crazy person, but ever since this person has come into my life and then left again as quickly as they'd come, thats how I feel... Crazy. Right now I'm listening to 'Only living Boy in New York' by Simon & Garfunkel through my big purple headphones, trying to drain everything out, get past the craziness that I have woken up to, get past this person. Move on. Get this person out of my mind for once. Find my sanity once again in the depths of my mind. I think it's almost worked until 'Future 86'- Bomb The Music Industry! comes on and I am once again grabbing at my hair, feeling tense, frustrated and crazy.

Most Played.

Today I was putting some more songs onto my Ipod and looked at the play count of my entire Music Library and thought it would be neat to copy down the top 10 onto here, since it truly shows what songs are my favourite, so out of 2865 songs, here are my top played 10:

1. Cheek to Cheek- Frank Sinatra (169 times)

2. Life is a Song- Patrick Park (167 times)

3. Jesse's Girl- Rick Springfield (153 times)

4. Flightless Bird, American Mouth- Iron & Wine (148 times)

5. Do You Believe in Magic- The Lovin' Spoonful (140 times)

6. Lovers of Loving Love- The Aquabats (133 times)

7. Cry Me A River- Julie London (125 times)

8. I Found a Reason- Cat power (119 times)

9. If You are But a Dream- Frank Sinatra (116 times)

10. The Trapeze Swinger- Iron & Wine (114 times)

Adventures of Sunny Days.

       

The other day, my friend Brittany and I took advantage of the warm sunny day and went into Calgary to Bowness Park. It's right across the street from my Dad's house so I know the area really well. I took her around the park and showed her some awesome spots for pictures. It was quite the adventure. When I took her across the river to the train tracks for some pictures with graffiti, we saw a dead cat. We almost stepped on it. It was pretty sad. Afterwards we went to a little diner called 'Angels' right near my Dad's house for some burgers and fries. She loved it's cute retro-ness and the burgers were delicious. All in all it was an excellent day and quite the adventure.

Friday night I went out with some friends to see Eddie Izzard at the Jubilee. If you haven't heard of this guy, seriously look him up. He is a hilarious british transvestite and it was so good watching him. So funny. At some times I was crying in my chair from laughing so hard. (Watch this one 'Cake or Death')I also met up with some of my friends from school there, who I really miss! I laughed when i saw all of the merchandise they had bought. AKA Everything that was sold! It was quite the bag full of goodies. I, myself only bought a T-shirt. Afterwards, the girls dragged me to a Sheesha bar downtown. Now, I am not the rebel type. I don't smoke, Do pot, or anything else of the hoolagan-ish type things, so going to a Sheesha bar was quite the new experience. I wasn't very good at it either, but I had fun. We had a White Grape/ Watermelon flavour that was actually really good. I wouldn't do it again much in the future, just cause I'm not like that, but I can't say that I didn't have fun. I was laughing up a storm that we were actually sitting in a restaurant smoking from a bong. My friend Lexi could make the smoke spill out in vast pools from her mouth, but I could only get a little puff.

                                                           

Yesterday, My friend Amanda and I took a trip into Kensington and walked around visiting the shops for the day. It was a lot of fun and money was spent! especially on her half! She got offered a job in American Apparel, for having the right 'look' (she's tall, skinny, cute and model-ish, with very cute style I might add!) We also went into a record store, that we spent probably close to an hour in I'm thinking. We both love records and music. I just came out with a 'The Flaming Lips' CD, but she came out with a few records for friends and herself. Then we had some delicious Cinnamon Swirl Tea from a cute little teahouse. It was so good. I am developing a serious addiction to tea. It was gorgeous outside, and I had the perfect companion for shopping down kensington. We will have to go back and spend the entire day there. 

Last night, after work A few of my close friends and I went out to Dick's for a drink, and then into town to see the movie 'Kick Ass' It is such a funny movie. Full of "What the F***!?" moments. Definitely a good one for the of age group though.

All in All, An excellent past week!

The Need/ Want for New CD's.

Whilst on my job search, I passed Zeus Music Store and thought Hey! That could be a spectacular job for me! I get to see all the new CD's and music that comes in all the time, and get to introduce people to new bands and artists! so, I dropped off my resume, even though they aren't hiring right now. I'm thinking of dropping one off at HMV too, what the heck. Anyways, this idea of music shopping for a job made me think of music shopping for me, and made me want CD's. I've created a list:

1. Words Are Dead- Horse Feathers (They are awesome, and I love them. Simple as that.)
2. Lost Channels- Great Lake Swimmers
3. Was Right All Along- Allison Weiss
4. The Wild Hunt- The Tallest Man on Earth
5. The new Broken Social Scene Album
6. Together- The New Pornographers

Theres way more.. but I am starting to seem like a CD-a-holic.....

Day to Day Happenings.

Today was a very productive day I think. I woke up( at a decent hour) and ate some apple cinnamon cheerios and chocolate milk  (whoever thought up the idea of mixing apple cinnamon flavour with cheerios was a genius BY THE WAY.) and then got dressed, did some laundry, cleaned the house a smidge and then cleaned my car! It seriously was filthy inside. I had to throw out all the garbage and junk that had collected in the backseat of my car over the year and vacuum all of the bits of rocks, dirt and grass everywhere. It was quite the task. Let me tell you! then I went to work to eat some lunch and read 'The Story of Edgar Sawtelle' It's good so far, It sounds like it's going to be very Hamlet-ish. With the father dying and the uncle taking over and marrying the widowed wife, with the son trying to prove the uncles guilt. Should be good. I like Hamlet. Then I came home and chilled. Took my dog for a walk... got stuck in that awkward scenario of having a bag full of poop without a garbage can nearby. Praying to god that you don't run into anybody that you know, trying to hold your arm really stiff so that the bag doesn't bounce and fling all over the place while your walking. Horrible. 

On another note... MY GRADES FINALLY CAME IN! Hallelujah! About time! I ended with 2 B's, 2 B+'s and an A-! I'm pretty pleased with those grades. A much better second semester. So because my grades were pretty good, my mom took me to buy a leather jacket! (I really wanted one) and I love it! I also got a beach hat so I don't burn and freckle even more on my face- if that's even possible. It was a good mini shopping trip.

On the Full Time job hunt now too! I've applied at a few places around town and hope I get a call! I need the money. I just don't make near enough to pay for school at work currently, nor do I get close to enough hours that I need. I am just so sick of it, and I really need a change of pace.

Got a new copy of 'Jane Eyre- Charlotte Bronte'. I now have three copies. I'm starting a little collection here! I just had to buy it though, since it matches all of my Jane Austen books. (The nice black hard cover with the elastic hold and the coloured shiny titles).  Plus it was only $5.00!!! I couldn't believe it!

For mother's day we went downtown to the Lougheed House. It was really good. My whole family loves that kind of stuff. We go to Heritage Park a ton, and just love the old houses. My mom really enjoyed us all going out as a family too. Afterwards, we drove around kensington and Sunnyside to look at the houses and then went to Peter's Drive In for some milkshakes and hot dogs. Delicious!

Graduation.

Well, It's that time of the year again. High School Graduation. The ceremony, the banquet, the dance, the after party. You know it's come when Facebook is bombarded with pictures of younger friends in their caps and gowns, their big prom dresses, the limos and their dates. This time last year all that was me. I was in that elated, I'm graduating High School mood. The moments that came with all of the events, the exhilaration, and all of the years of school we had gone through. Graduating High School is a big thing. It's the first step to growing up. It's that first major feeling of "I did it. I really did it" and "Now what am I going to do?". It's the pure joy of finishing something. You really accomplished something. It's your day to shine. You get to walk up on that stage to get that certificate. You get to wear that beautiful gown that you know you're going to only ever wear once, you get to be a princess for the day. 

I really can't believe that it has been a year. It doesn't feel like it's been that long. This whole year has been like a dream. It just flew by. I think thats what happens when you get out of school. You get older  (I mean, I'm not that old. Only 18! I'm still a baby!) and see things differently. You're not just in High School. Public, Free education. Once you leave, you go to school because you want to. You have to pay for it. You have to decide what you want to do from now on. You make the decisions. You're losing that protection from mom and dad, from your teachers and guidance. It's all up to you now. You're not going to be spoon fed anymore. You're seen as a responsible young adult now. Nobody's going to babysit you. 

Another thing about graduating, is that you really realize who your friends are. When you're not in the same class or grade, you have to make the effort to see each other. To retain those friendships you made in school if they're worth keeping. Once you're out of school you're put in different groups. You find friends who are doing the same thing you are. You find friends that share the same interests as you do, Have the same goals as you do. You're not just friends with them because you've always been friends with them. You're not just a part of a clique, you become an individual. Last year, signing yearbooks and handing out grad pictures, you always wrote "You're great, I'm going to miss you tons!" or perhaps something more personal, but I've realized this past year, that most of the people you wrote that to, you won't really miss them, but the idea of them. They represent your high school years. They represent your memories. They represent your youth. The great friend's you'll keep, the acquaintances, will be preserved in pictures. The pictures you show your kids. The memories you keep with you for the rest of your life. So, with that said... Congratulations Class of 2010!

The Sweet Sounds of Fresh Melodies.

Tonight I have discovered some new bands and songs that make my heart flutter with their sweet melodies. Purely mesmerizing. Today I've been listening to a full range of musical genres. The Strokes, Sum 41, Lisa Mitchell, Louis Armstrong, Against Me!, and Iron and Wine to name a few. I just kept switching between moods and genres. Tonight, I have come back to the calming folky melodies when I discovered a wonderful musician who goes by The Tallest Man On Earth. He will be receiving a very warm welcome into the growing musical library of my Ipod. Listen to The Sparrow and the Medicine- The Tallest Man on Earth. Gorgeous acoustics. Another truly amazing group that I discovered (also tonight) is Horse Feathers. Hmmm. I can just feel the sweetness of the acoustic guitar and violin pulse through my body. Delicious. Listen to Curs in the Weeds- Horse Feathers  again, Will be on my Ipod very shortly. Another excellent listen are the Bowerbirds. Take a listen to Northern Lights- The Bowerbirds. Nice and soothing. I'll leave it at that for now, while I take another adventure through LastFM.com and make new wonderful discoveries.

Never Too Old For A Tea Party.

Today my friends Amanda, Ginnelle and I had a tea party. It was wonderfully quaint and lovely. I am quite proud of how I set it up in my living room. We all wore dresses and had a whimsical afternoon. We caught up on everything and chatted for a couple hours whilst drinking tea (Iced Tea for Ginnelle because she's a baby). It was fun. You're never too old for a tea party. You're never too old to get dressed up and play make believe. Never to old to lose your childish innocence. Gossip In The Grain- Ray LaMontagne

"Such a lazy jackstraw, Always late for tea, never bothers to ring lately, says the silly sparrow. Gossip in the Grain"

Do You Realize??

Right now I'm listening to Do You Realize??- The Flaming Lips and just absorbing everything around me. This song makes me think. Think about life, love, and what your going to have to look back on when it's your time to go. This just makes me realize how much I want every moment to count, even if I don't remember every single moment. I want to look back on my life and say that I lived the best that I could, and that I loved the best I could. I don't want to live my life in a trance. These last couple weeks since school finished I really have been doing nothing. Sleeping in, maybe watching a movie, maybe going to work for a few hours... not much of importance. So I made a list of everything I want to try to do, (some things I do think I already do, but want to do them better) starting now.

1. Have a camera ready. I want to capture all of the moments. The in between moments, The moments you don't really realize are moments. I want to capture the pure human-ness of us. The regular-ness of us, because I think that regular-ness is beautiful. So ironically unique and different in our regular-ness.

2. Love freely and passionately. Not to be afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve and let someone woo me. To not think about what's going to happen. Not to worry about getting hurt emotionally by someone, because by the end of the day, I'll know that I gave it my serious 110% best and know that if it ends, it just wasn't meant to last forever. I want to be able to let people in and let them truly get to know me and either love me for who I am, or not. I am who I am and I always will be. I'm not going to change for anybody, but I will let them in. I want to trust people. Not everybody, because obviously, that could get me killed, but to believe in their best qualities.

3. That being said... I want to surround myself with true, honest, loving people. People who I know will never literally hurt me, People who accept me for who I am and love me for it.

4. Read. Absorb myself in a book. Fall in love with a character. Feel as if I am a part of the book. This is the only way I do read, every single book I've read holds a part of my heart because I get so absorbed in them. If you don't find that you do this when your reading, then either a) pick a better book or b) don't make it a task, or something extra. Take a day or two and just do nothing but read a book. Lock yourself in a room. Become part of the story. When the characters cry, you'll find yourself crying. When they laugh, you'll find yourself laughing with them. I think that people who say they don't like reading have never truly read a book.

5. Laugh. Cry. Feel. It's good to have a good cry sometimes. If you never cry, you never put your entire self into something. If something doesn't go the way you wished it would, you cry. It's not a crime. This is something that I've learnt lately. It's not a bad thing to cry. It doesn't mean you're a permanently sad and depressed person, it just means that something sucks at the moment, and you just need to let it all out. With those tears though, you need to have some laughs. A pure outburst. The kind where you're bent over clutching your sides because they're hurting so bad. The kind where you can't breathe. Everybody needs one of those laughs once in a while. It reminds us that life's not so bad. There are still so many fantastic moments to have.

6.Meet new people. Not to fear new, different people. Not to stand to the side, smiling but not really saying anything. Sometimes people can surprise you. Everyone is so different. Unique talents, interests, beliefs, and ideas. Share a conversation with someone you don't know that well. You'll be surprised about the things you learn about them. The new views that they can give you. You might just find a friend in a stranger.

7. Not to be afraid of growing up, but also not to lose my childish naivety. With age, comes responsibility. You learn more about the world. You're not trapped behind your parent's wall of protection. You see the good, the bad and the ugly. With this new, truthful view of the world and the people in it, you have to still believe. Thats where the naivety comes in. You have to believe that the world can change for the better, and that people can change too. Don't mark someone off as a bad person just because they've done bad things. Give them that chance to redeem themselves. Give them that benefit of the doubt. (again, I'm not meaning trust serial killers because you think they can "change")

8. Gain independance. I want to try not to wholly depend on anyone. To live through my own successes and failures. You have no idea where this life will take you. You have to be able to survive it on your own.

9. Maintain a sketchbook. A sketchbook, not only for my drawings and sketches, but for my thoughts and ideas as well. I want to be able to go back and read/look through my sketchbooks and remember how I was at that period of time. How I viewed the world, what I specifically enjoyed drawing at that time. How I changed. How my drawing changed and evolved.

10. To not be afraid to take that leap. I don't want to live a life where I'm controlled by my fears. I want to live this life to the fullest and not be afraid to take that complete leap of faith, no matter how scary it might be. No matter if I succeed or fail, because if you don't ever take that leap of faith, how will you ever know? How will you ever know what could have happened? If you failed? or succeeded? I want to never leave myself in a position where I'll just never know what might have happened.

Mull that over. Whilst listening to this song.... Put a Penny in the Slot- Fionn Regan

Travellers Guide to Life

This is where I was last summer. Doing a handstand in front of the Eiffel Tower. Travelling through Europe with a group of amazing people having the time of my life. I want to go back to these places and relive these memories so bad. Last year's trip just gave me a taste and now I want the full meal. Hopefully once I'm finished school I can go buy a one way ticket to somewhere in Europe and go wherever my heart takes me. I think travelling really shows you the world and forces you to be open minded, and grow up. I want to experience everything the world has to offer, I want to go everywhere and meet all the different and unique people. Not just in Europe, but everywhere. It's always been a dream of mine and I want to do it so bad. To learn about and embrace different cultures and different people. To lose that narrow-mindedness. To see how different everything is. To make those experiences and memories that will come along the way.

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go." -Dr. Seuss

Nights On The Town

Saturday night some friends and I went out to The Roadhouse to celebrate our new found freedom. Everybody's finished school now and it's so exciting and just plain awesome. It was seriously like a high school reunion 1 year after grad. So many people were there and some of my friends from uni came too. All in all it was a stellar time, but definitely a once in a blue moon kind of night. I do not have the energy nor money to do that every weekend. I'm pretty sure my liver enjoys this too. Keeps it alive for longer.

In other news, I went to my friend's house for his birthday on Friday and had fun for the most part. Thank god for my friends Amanda and Brad coming though, because otherwise I would have been an outsider. All the girls that were there hate me and ignored me/ gave me dirty looks the whole night. Oh yes. It was just lovely. But oh well, they weren't the ones I was there to see. Jesse (the birthday boy) loved the gifts I got him (two Pink Floyd albums on Vinyl) and we had a good time talking (we're the kind of friends that will talk about everything. In the middle of the party we were talking about shakespeare and it was totally normal for us. Trying to be the intellectuals) and playing phoozeball. The night ended pretty badly, when all hell broke out between Jesse and the girls and I had to help get all the girls out of the house and home. Just reminds me how much I like growing up. Seriously, High school drama... not even high school drama. Stupid 16 year old girl drama. It's just ridiculous. I'm so glad none of my friends growing up and throughout school were never like that. I'm pretty proud to say that I have surrounded myself with pretty amazing people. My friends don't have absurd drama within our group, nor do we really ever duke it out in a fight. All throughout high school, and still now, I tend to float around groups and have a pretty wide variety of friends, even if it's just that I can start a conversation with them, but I definitely know who my best friends are and am so happy I have them. They keep me grounded and don't let me meddle in stupid shit. (If your one of those friends and are reading this, Thank You.)

On a happier note... Brad and Amanda went to the Said the Whale concert saturday and picked me up a shirt and their album 'Howe Sounds/Taking Abalonia' It's awesome. I love, love, love them. I am wearing my shirt as we speak. Looking like a champ.

P.S. I just found an ant crawling in my room. Ugh. Gross! I think it's time I clean my room.